How is this possible, you ask? SoCal has endless summer weather, in the winter you can truly surf and ski in the same day, etc. Well, a trip to Oregon ruined it. SoCal has downfalls for me:

1) It is very dry. After visiting Oregon, everything looks orange-ish, like the place is covered in dust. It’s probably smog, and it is August, so things are more dry than normal, but, still, it’s pretty dreary looking by contrast.

2) It is fairly expensive – and crowded. You pay a lot to live hear and most housing is medium to high density – all stacked on top of one another. I don’t like most people, so this is a problem with noise, barking dogs, generally rude behavior.

3) More to the point on crowded: the traffic is very stressful. Lately I have also been driving pretty aggressively as my mood sours and patience wanes. It’s pretty dangerous… and I only drive 10 miles to work, 7 on the crowded 405. I could not take a real commute.

4) Compared to Oregon, the place now seems really flat. Look, I found parts of Central Oregon very similar in nature – around Eugene or Medford and further in the East were dusty, flat farm land, too… but the rolling, tree-covered hills seems usually within view.

So, I came back and thought “Yeah, I really hate living here.” I basically feel tied to making money, I guess, plus a couple family members and friends – but it’s just not making me happy anymore. I want to downsize, too – I am tired of dusting a bunch of crap and maintaining our 1600 sq ft townhome. I want a small cabin in the wood near rushing water where neighbors are limited. I want to enjoy life, rather than be a slave to work. I am looking for balance, and making plans accordingly. I don’t want to wait to retire to relax, that seems silly. Time will tell!

I have not added people to my Facebook ‘friends’ list that I have not met. The list is literally my friends – or people that might soon be friends. So when I recently got a rash of comments that called me names and bullied me when I posted a video I found interesting from one moment from one night of Ferguson protests, I was shocked. How could this real life friend troll my thread then proceed to harass me and make grandiose claims about how I was spreading some sort of propaganda. I replied, stating I was insulted by his reply – which, of course, enraged this clearly sad, angry, lonely person to make a few more posts back, one of which was long and offensive to me. I can’t say that he used poor language, just a lot of accusatory finger pointing and name calling. All from a video I shared that I didn’t even leave a comment about. I initially did one more reply – then decided he was bringing out the worst in me and just deleted the post and removed him as a ‘friend’.

I was pretty shocked by this behavior. No friend of mine calls me names, bullies me, or questions my character/motives, especially over a stupid post on my Facebook feed. This person was actually an ‘adopted’ friend from my man’s group of friends, whom I think pretty highly of. I felt put in a strange position – and apologized to my man, but I could not be friends with this person any longer and was certainly not interested in seeing this person or attending an event that he was. No point in being around a person that hates you so much they felt the need to berate you online. #sorrynotsorry

I am open to other view points, I like arguing, in fact, but I won’t be silenced. If I like something – be it kitten videos or something more political I believe in – I am going to post it. I am going to stand by my convictions, my beliefs, no matter what names another person calls me. You should, too.

Then again, I haven’t had time to do much work on it at all. I cannot figure out how people fit kids into this equation – likely why it makes more sense to have them young. I still operate as Vivid Dream Design, but now fit in those hours early mornings. I then get ready for my full-time gig in-house. I fit in a plethora of hobbies, hiking and camping, backpacking and vacation time – but once in a while housework has to make it’s way in there… Our fridge is fairly bare (by American standards), and until last night I was growing a science experiment in the sink. The fireplace front is 1/3 tiled for the last 2 months.

I digress. The point is I need to get images and small videos going to promote this ‘brand’ and I have just not made the time. I love it the drawing and new alter ego, I need to blog more and put more thought into my posts. How to get that done is the dilemma. I’m probably not rich for this reason – that extra push it takes to market yourself is something I lack. I think I spread myself thin among lots of activities and have a difficult time concentrating all my efforts on one thing.

Do you have any suggestions? I’d love to hear how you have marketed something you love to do into your main or side business.

Look here, I am working on it. I’m kinda busy, with a lot of things, and making room to get a new blog up and running is difficult to squeeze into my schedule. Help a girl out, buy a shirt to support me – maybe it will make me work faster.

The back story: I was pretty unhappy at my last gig. Not because it was stressful, or that I had to commute very far, or that it paid crappy. I have a strong need to stay fresh with front-end coding and UX design standards, and I wasn’t getting that. Plus, I am fairly shitty at being bored. So, I was very grumpy for a few months there at the end, which led a co-worker to draw me on a white board while he mocked me with “Oh, boo-hoo, I’m bored.” Oddly, the now infamous face was just perfection in my eyes. A true work of art. Interestingly, I believe it looks more angry than grumpy the longer you stare at it, which I find fascinating.

The face also really drove home that I need an attitude adjustment, but I cannot fix my snarky response to most life situations permanently, so I have decided to vent using GirlGrumpy.com as an alter ego. I hope you enjoy it. Or don’t. It’s just the internets, don’t take my ramblings too seriously.