Category Archives: Ramblings

Last Crumb – I paid $150 for raw cookies

You need understand that I love cookies. I’d give up eggs, fish, cheese, candy, caffeine – all the other loves and vices – if I could keep cookies. I want to start the absolutely useless charity of sending cookies to underprivileged peoples around the globe because I think more smiles would make the world a better place. I cannot say if this is sugar addiction that would ruin the world, but I can say that cookies the pinnacle of human baked creations. Except bastards with raisins, those are an abomination. I believe bits of fruit make it a bar, not a cookie, and sneaking it into cookie form where we’re all expecting a chocolate chip is a sin.

Okay, so now you know why I’d try any cookie at basically any price. Last Crumb had a lot of hype and I was skeptical going in because hipster food is notoriously better packaged that tasty and I’m convinced some people just like to pretend something good looking is yummy for clicks. But it’s cookies. I’m in.

These sucked.

The packaging was outrageously over the top – printed to perfection, several layers deep, tons of info and hipster lingo – it felt special but also definitely not ‘green’ with the sheer amount of waste for just 12 medium-sized cookies.

Last Crumb cookies were raw inside.
Last Crumb cookies were raw inside.

I’ll admit the ingredients felt pretty top quality, but nearly every single cookie was raw inside. I mean it: smush it and it was again dough. I’m all for eating cookie dough, but it’s really weird to have half baked, half raw. I was tempted to throw them all back into the oven, I probably should have.

About 6 of of the flavors were lovely, but nothing earth-shattering. Seriously, nothing nearly as ‘life changing’ as the stupid social media posts would have you believe, or Last Crumb’s own website. The hype is not real. It’s strictly hipster nonsense. These are *not* the best cookies ever, but if they were not raw they would be solid and I’d pay $6-8 at a fair or market for them.

The easy wins where birthday cake, which was just a sugar cookie with sprinkles, and chocolate chip, because obviously. Those two were also slightly better cooked. I didn’t try one of the twelve because I f’ing hate bananas.

The moral of the story is visit your local bakery: they probably have some crazy flavor concoction that will keep you from having to bake 24 and just enjoy one, big, yummy cookie.

A Selfish Rant

This is a year in SoCal where we actually had a “March Miracle” snow run in our local mountains which is continuing as I write and due to government rules I cannot visit Snow Valley to ski! *cry face* I’m sure this is terrible for them, too, as so much money is seasonal.

In addition, my employer gave today as a floating holiday and I would be arriving somewhere in the eastern Sierras by now to either car camp and hike or go backpacking (probably the former due to the weather: there’s been a few feet of snow). So sad for my wants and desires! *extra cry face* Cabin fever is real, y’all.

Regardless of your politics, pension for conspiracy theories, or personal beliefs about whether we are taking the correct actions – I hope you and yours remain healthy, fed, mentally stable, and safe.

I really lose faith in humanity every time I drive to work.

I started working for the man, instead of running my own home business, a few years ago. It’s just easier… except the drive. I have it easy, it’s within 13 miles to the office where the cubicle I was assigned sits in a corner far from windows (dead plants ensue). Still, even with minimal distance and mild traffic congestion (barring an accident on the freeway), I often lose my shit regularly anyhow.

The number of people not watching the road is astounding. I am not sure why driving a high-speed vehicle doesn’t inspire a little more concentration. I regularly watch lane bouncing and speed changes wondering what the hell is going on only to notice heads down – looking at their science-damned phones. Are people trying to get killed? I’m honestly shocked that there are not more vehicle crashes. It destroys any hopeful nice-people-going-out-of-their-way-to-help story I managed to scrounge up on the internets the same way reading comments on just about any issue also does. Clearly, only 10% of humans (rough guestimate) are worth saving – the vast majority of us are assholes and a scourge on this planet.

Not that I had a lot of posts, but…

Well, I have zero time to maintain this website or to make regular posts. My punishment is that the site was hacked and my wonderfully worded (of course!) blog posts were all replaced with spam. Thanks for that, assholes! It’s kind of amazing to think about, but I am a professional web dev and I didn’t have database backups nor did any maintenance. Goes to show what a pain in the ass it is to maintain a website by yourself and to manage a 3rd party system (WordPress) well enough to ward off hackers. To you hackers: go fuck yourselves.

A loss for words.

Look – I am with you. Politicians seem corrupt beyond comprehension. The choices seem limited. National elections seem pointless (not local, get out and learn and vote local, damnit!). Often, the choice of one US President over another is like choosing a lesser of two evils. BUT how on this green earth is Trump the lesser evil? How is he ‘draining the swamp’ – by putting the strongest opposers for each cabinet position? It makes no sense.

Howard Dean once yelled ‘YEEE-AAAW’ and lost his bid for president. But Donald Trump can mock a handicap, talk proudly of harrassing women, routinely run businesses that go bankrupt, incite violence, hold hands with Putin, and constantly spout hurt feelings on Twitter and this is okay? I… just… speechless.

I hope to science I’m wrong. I hope somehow hiring the leaders of corporations that have spent millions lobbying and corrupting our government somehow solves the problems… but how exactly does that work? I am fearful for our national parks, for women’s rights, for non-white non-straight rights, for the poor. I cannot see how this will turn out well – unless it’s so crazy bad people revolt ala Rome style.

I think we are living in the upside-down. I guess I knew it would happen the first day I noticed two Starbucks immediately across the street from each other: whatever rapture religious people believe in already happened and these are the end times. They are more weirdly disturbing than horrific than we expected – but it all seems to be getting worse. Somehow the internet and television have given us unlimited access to information and it’s made people more stupid – more full of fear which clouds judgement and gives way to tyranny. The history repeat is so blatant, so sad to watch.

But a big part of me thinks all the nonsense that is so overwhelming I’m just slackjaw is just some smoke screen – some ratings ploy to pull all our feeble minds towards this shit-show circus that is the US government and away from some larger issue – something unseen but guessed at. Something I’m supposed to do that I can’t figure out. Some words I’m supposed to say or story I am to follow. Some mystery that is keeping me up at night.

Not identifying with ‘grumpy’ any longer

Sure, I am still pretty grumpy. I generally utter the words ‘I hate people’ about three times per day. But 2015 has been the year of travel; I have added a Canadian province and three US states to my ‘hiked in’ list, and this weekend I will add another US state and probably one more over Christmas vacation. One day I will hit my goal of having hiked in all 50 US states, move on to finishing all Canadian provinces, then just keep going – new places rock. Travelling enriches your life like nothing else can and I feel like the luckiest person alive to be able to do it.

Anyhow, that is why I haven’t concentrated on this side brand for a while – the logo mark is still adorable, but it’s just not how I see myself now, so I just “can’t even” and haven’t. (-:

Tattoo Cherry is Popped

Well, that’s it then. “Gods” be good, I actually got myself inked. Being a commitment-phobe, this is a pretty big deal. I am also very self critical and a perfectionist, so it will be quite the test to see if I can deal with how ink ages with me. All that said, it’s just a three-quarter-inch Canadian-flag maple leaf (red filled, lined in black on recommendation) on the inside of my left wrist (lower than the creases after much debate). I got the ‘it was meant to be there’ feeling, so that part is easy – now to see how it heals and basically over analyze everything, as I am wont to do.

The ‘grumpy’ part of this rambling comes from my love-hate (well, mostly hate-like) relationship with in-person attention: realizing that I’m going to hear “From Canada, EH?” from Americans forever.

LOL! I didn’t think about that… oh, well.

The good news? Everyone seems to like the placement and angle, so my “yes” to the silly question (which might be an ice breaker vs just dumb, actually, now that I think about it) seems to followed by a compliment. Seems people that profess “I don’t like tattoos” all like this one… Plus, I don’t really go out much and mingle with the masses, so it’s not likely to happen often beyond checkout grocery clerks.

Then again, I’m 38 and have really entered a who-gives-a-shit mode which, coupled with impulsiveness and routine mini-obsessions with new creative endeavors, leaves me instantly wanting another (and much larger) piece. Trying to wait – and I have at least 5 other hobbies laying about I could pick up again to bide my time.

Damn, “news” and white people make me facepalm…

I was going to be all grumpy about how people come into work sick and infect anyone else – I have gotten down right rude about it by complaining loudly every time they cough. Then I thought I might complain that loved ones hate when I hike / camp / backpack alone but how I like the solitude plus going at my pace without slowing anyone down or being slowed down by my group. Instead, today’s topic is about how totally pointless TV news is now. Specifically, this is about white people turning a pumpkin festival into a full-fledged riot, and how somehow it’s seen as ‘silly’ vs. mostly peaceful protests in Ferguson are portrayed as dangerous – something I can only attribute to rampant racism.

Read the story:

Search for some epic tweet responses with #keenepumpkinfest including my favorites/snarkiest:

“Why are they tearing up their own community?”

“Where are the leaders in the white community? They need to speak out.”

“If white people continue to glorify pumpkin violence in their culture they deserve the spice-latte thug stereotypes.”

Your thoughts? Or, better yet, share you favorite tweets that point out the sad irony of the whole affair.

Being sick sucks

It’s just the common cold. Started with a sore throat, progressed to blowing my nose raw with a tree’s worth of tissues. It ruined my weekend plans, and I took two days off of work (the last just to be safe, I don’t like sharing disease) which, as a contractor, is a lot of money.

But, now I am on the mend – feeling 85% tonight – and I was struck by how luckily I was for my general well being. I mean, I complained, was grumpy, and let my man take care of me a bit (thanks, babe!) – but then I got over it. Well, I’m going to tomorrow, anyhow, and get back to work. Having health should never be taken for granted. It’s not like I have cancer, contracted ebola, or have a disability that restricts movement or any physical activity. I basically get to do whatever I want, just about whenever I want. That is pretty amazing – ’cause being sick sucks.

Have you ever found yourself forgetting to be grateful for your health? Know anyone that regularly isn’t and makes you grumpy? Share!